I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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