Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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