I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
