Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
