He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
