Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
