I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize