I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize