Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
