At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
