Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
