How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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