Screwed.edu
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
