she was so not down for the gang bang
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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