dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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