there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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