Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize