Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
