I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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