He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
