We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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