I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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