Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
