If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
