What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize