Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
