Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just google imaged poop.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
