; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
