we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Randomize
