dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
