There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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