she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
