Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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