when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
