I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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