Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
