4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
