so explain again why im purple
no
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
