I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was like eating out sand paper
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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