Porn is love you can see.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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