yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just had sex bonerless
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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