my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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