Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
