My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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