i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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