But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
