dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
