I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize