...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
