I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
