We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
