i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize