Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
