i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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