i just wanna soil my oats bro
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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