ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
