I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
