Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
