i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
