Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
