everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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