just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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