there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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